August Newsletter

Dear friend,

Pastoring is the most difficult job I’ve ever had. I don’t say that to elicit some form for sympathy or anything silly like that! I mention it more to ask you to pray with me for Scum. Every day it feels like we’re in a crazy transition period, and that God isn’t ready for us to get too comfortable in ourselves, and our own strength.

This month I have had to counsel someone who is looking at an impending prison sentence. I have had to pastor victims of heinous injustice, while also pastoring their oppressors. I have seen people come to the church for the first time, and leave after years at Scum with nowhere to go. It feels like my heart is constantly in flux with a barrage of emotions and challenges. It feels like one of those times when I feel most incapable, and it is in those times that I meet Jesus most wholeheartedly.

In the challenge of ministry, while trying to hold everything together, there is always a sense that you cannot do enough, you cannot fix everything. It can be a devastating feeling, unless, as I have learned over the past 5 years of ministry, you realize that you are not Jesus. I cannot heal people, cannot solve their problems, and I cannot deliver them from their addictions. It is purely by the grace of God!

But that doesn’t stop people from expecting it from me. And it doesn’t completely assuage a sense of guilt and obligation on my part. And this is what makes pastoring difficult: watching people, wishing for their healing, feeling incapacitated, and having to lean fully onto Jesus, trusting that He is at work. What an amazing exercise in the Christian walk.

And as I write this, I know that there are glimmers of hope on the horizon. I know that there are pictures of His grace shining in the eyes of the ever-increasing number of children at the church. I know that there are flickers of light in the songs of worship emanating from Scum that pierce the darkness of the surrounding neighborhood. And I know that there are the shouts of angels in heaven as people turn toward Jesus for the first time, or return to Him after years of being gone. God is using Scum as a vessel for His Kingdom.

In all that, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. As my friend Kate said once, it has to get darker before you can see the stars. I say that, because, I feel that Scum is on the cusp of something big, something grander than ever before, and God is providing a way for us to learn to lean more heavily into him, so that His will might be done.
But, it’s not easy. To watch, wait, pray, and trust is not easy. As a church, and as an individual, it can be the most daunting experience ever.

So, as selfish as it may be, I ask you to keep me in your prayers this month.
• Pray that I would learn to trust in Jesus more and more every day, knowing that it is He who provides and cares for me.
• Pray for hope. There are definitely times where it feels overwhelming. I know that this is true in everyone’s lives, and so I do not feel like I am alone. I want to see Jesus more: more visible, more active, more lived-out, more present. I want our church to know the riches that are the fullness of His glory.
• Pray for my finances. I have taken a $12,000 pay cut from last year’s salary at Scum. God has continued to provide, and I have a part-time job interview at the Apple store tomorrow. I am not sure what’s in store for me in the future, but it is still my hope to be working at Scum. I trust that He can make this happen, but sometimes it’s not the easiest thing to see.
• Pray for rest. I am hoping to take a vacation to Wyoming this month. I am only up preaching on August 9th, so that should give me some time to get away.