the breakup

So, as you may have heard, Rachel and I broke up.

I don't know. It was hard/is hard. Sometimes the best things in life are also difficult (not always, but it seems to be a running gag in my life anyway).

Just so you know, the official reason is poor communication. We just seemed to keep missing each other when we talked. And we seemed to communicate things with our actions that didn't line up with our words. And we heard things that were not the intention of the other.

The truth is this: I always wanted the best for Rachel. Throughout our time together, several people told me that I needed to stick it out, and that of course touched on my own fears of lack of commitment, but I trust that this really was in her best interest. I desire for her to be more like Christ, and feel that the best place to do that might not be in this relationship.

Sunday night I preached on suffering. It's never a fun topic, but seems to be one that I preach regularly. In the midst of it, I began to see how sometimes the most loving thing to do in the midst of suffering, the most redemptive and compassionate thing, is to leave a situation. The key to that is, it cannot be about us when we do. We cannot demand our rights, pound our fists, and throw a temper tantrum. I pray that my intentions were pure in this. Who knows besides Jesus.

And I see how many times in my life, Jesus has allowed me to wander so that I might be closer to Him. He has taken a step back and allowed me to enter into the painful places of my own demise so that I might be redeemed. He has been gracious enough to allow me to learn.

And I hope that for Rachel and myself...that through this pain, we might learn.